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clouded mind

by haleyjo

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1.
I remember when you loved me once But now you’re gone, and you have won I have Thoughts of you til the day is done Looking out at the sun Going down I just keep falling now My heart in pieces shattered on the ground I’m waiting for my crown - -passenger princess cause I can’t drive when you’re around All I wanted was for you to give me time And I needed you so you weren’t by my side All my feelings oh I’m running out of time To explain cause everything’s about change It’s like we’re only at the starting line Hoping you would change your heart and your mind When I called, you never picked up so this time I won’t bother you again Racing thoughts, won’t go away Won’t you come back, to save me from the pain But when you’re here, my judgements gone Even the thought of you makes me sick to my stomach And, am I being to hard on myself Chasing away my good thoughts I swear I need help, I can’t even drive With you in my heart All I wanted was for you to give me time And I needed you so you weren’t by my side All my feelings oh I’m running out of time To explain cause everything’s about change It’s like we’re only at the starting line Hoping you would change your heart and your mind Looking out the windshield try to find the words to say Feels like I am drowning, I’ll just push the tears away Heart is beating faster, I’m so anxious for no reason But I’ll try to keep on driving, focus on the steering wheel Gotta catch my breath, pull over, yet I have no where to go My mind stretched over miles, comprehend where I should go Am I even in the lines, am I running out of time, gotta stomp down on the breaks but my foot is on the gas Focus on what’s in front of you, I’m leaving you behind Da da da da da da, I’ve gotta clear my mind Focus on what’s in front of you, I’m leaving you behind
2.
glitter 04:32
Get all dressed up for nothing Do my makeup with glitter on my eyes I’ll think about you all the time Get out of bed to impress you Now I’ll take some pictures every time I go out To send to you so you don’t think I don’t go out side But I just live in my clouded daydreams Now I’ll scream the words to the songs in the car I’ll laugh like I’m having the time of my life But I’m just thinking about you, and what you’d think of my new life Glitter at the end of the night Sprinkle down to my cheeks from my eyes I won’t wipe it off, I’ll sleep in my makeup Wanting you to think about All the daydreams that I can’t help but see In my sleep, the colors so vibrant when I am dreaming, of you Glitter on my pillow case Sparkles in my tears over my mistakes The shimmer won’t drown out my thoughts of you Even if I want them to Get all dressed up for nothing Do my makeup with glitter on my eyes I’ll think about you all the time Get out of bed to impress you And why can’t I see You’re blinding me with all that glimmer It’s fine that I can’t flee I’m enchanted by the twinkling lights Ohh oh oh oh Your love came and went at the blink of an eye Now I’ll take some pictures every time I go out To send to you so you don’t think I don’t go out side But I just live in my clouded daydreams Now I’ll scream the words to the songs in the car I’ll laugh like I’m having the time of my life I’ll run in the rain and dance all night, thinking about you Glitter at the end of the night Sprinkle down to my cheeks from my eyes I won’t wipe it off, I’ll sleep in my makeup Wanting you to think about All the daydreams that I can’t help but see In my sleep, the colors so vibrant when I am dreaming, of you Glitter on my pillow case Sparkles in my tears over my mistakes The shimmer won’t drown out my thoughts of you Even if I want them to And why can’t I see You’re blinding me with all that glimmer It’s fine that I can’t flee I’m enchanted by the twinkling lights Ohh oh oh oh Your love came and went at the blink of an eye I’m okay with losing me But losing you would be a loss of my identity I’m okay with losing me But losing you would be a loss of my identity
3.
I got a tattoo of some clouds on my shoulder To represent how I live in my head I just look up at the sky, and daydream about what life should be And I know maybe I should go outside Maybe I’ll just cry, and die inside You can’t tell me what to do with my life I’ll tell petty lies, say I’m fine But I just live in my head in my life I’m a delight to be around Yet I don’t go outside, I’m being crowed The queen of delusion, I’ll make an excuse and Learned how to gaslight so I’ll always get my way But now u trick myself into thinking people care about me Only ever hurt myself I’ll try to bare the weight Of my dreams and expectations you have made for me Maybe I’ll just cry, and die inside You can’t tell me what to do with my life I’ll tell petty lies, say I’m fine But I just live in my head in my life I’m a delight to be around Yet I don’t go outside, I’m being crowed The queen of delusion, I’ll make an excuse and Get away with all the crimes, stealing hearts, but that’s a lie I’ll spill blood but it’s all mine Ripping the skin off the sides of my fingers Get away with sleeping in, torn apart by my anxiety I’ll be in this hell for Eternity But maybe I’m just being dramatic Maybe I’ll just cry, and die inside You can’t tell me what to do with my life I’ll tell petty lies, say I’m fine But I just live in my head in my life I’m a delight to be around Yet I don’t go outside, I’m being crowed The queen of delusion, I’ll make an excuse and get away with it
4.
Mini jar of tiny chocolate hearts You got me then you tore me apart Captivating like a work of art I’ll stop my whole life to make you my star And there might be something in the air I’ll keep running, maybe meet you there And I don’t know if you can see I’m waiting for the end when you’ll leave me be Oh, I get so confused, don’t know who trust is it me or my friends who leave me behind I’m so out of touch, don’t know what to do, with my free time, I’ll just write a song to cope Maybe I need therapy I’ll put off the things I need to do I’ll remind myself not to text you I’ll change up my mind, on the stupidest things And talk myself out of making sense And there might be something in the air I’ll keep running, maybe meet you there And I don’t know if you can see I’m waiting for the end when you’ll leave me be Oh, I get so confused, don’t know who trust is it me or my friends who leave me behind I’m so out of touch, don’t know what to do, with my free time, I’ll just write a song to cope I’ll storm off from dinner not happy, I’ll make everyone around me miserable Maybe I need therapy Oh I get so confused down know what to - Oh, I get so confused, don’t know who trust is it me or my friends who leave me behind I’m so out of touch, don’t know what to do, with my feelings, I’ll just write a song to cope Maybe I need therapy
5.
I think I have an obsession, an addiction I’ll pretend to not notice your existence when in reality I orbit, around you like your the sun There so many other things that I could obsess over But instead, I only think about, someone I have no chance with Obsession Walking through the days waiting for you to notice me Obsession I’ll stay behind, taking in your light that shines above Addiction People watching, but the only person I see is you Do you even know my fucking name! Even when you’re gone I’ll see you in my day dreams It’s like im on a drug, you’re my favorite disease But I don’t truly even know you, just see you around Yet you’re in my mind at all times Obsession Walking through the days waiting for you to notice me Obsession I’ll stay behind, taking in your light that shines above Addiction People watching, but the only person I see is you In all these faces of strangers, all I see is you In all these faces of strangers How could I, ever exist, without my imagination How could I, find inspiration, I’m the poet and your my muse It’s kinda funny, my love for you Is None existent, it’s an excuse To feel emotion, I’m empty inside But I can’t control my mind wanders to you In all these faces of strangers, all I see is you In all these faces of strangers, all I see is you In all these faces of strangers

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released March 1, 2024

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